"Sometimes my lips says something to which my heart doesn't agrees ; I M SORRY for that". I m reminded of several times when this has happened with you and me that we both utter certain sentences , phrases and words which cant be appreciated in any circumstances. That's the thing about love and romance: no one can predict where it will take you. Love will fill your heart, break your heart and then heal the heart that's broken. To be very honest to myself is a very difficult task; but then i would completely agree that when your heart is broken or it feels very sad due to some unexpected reactions which you never imagined in you wildest dreams, not only you ;the whole world is cast in the crushing gloom of despair; same happened with me last night, all unexpected and unbearable reactions came crawling towards me. My heart feels like a bird who has lost direction mid-flight because the wings which i had was made of love and i feel slowly i being robbed of those wings made of love. you can close your eyes to things you dont want to see;but you cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel because its feeling are unavoidable, they can easily catch the wavelength of your heart.

She comes to me in the dark of the night, she comes to me like a ray of light. i see her and feel ashamed of what i have done, what i am doing and what i will do in the future. i sit alone and smoke pot offered by others. my pack of cigarettes is dying and i don't have money to give life back to it. maybe it will die out and i wont know what to do next, maybe it will live and help me die just a bit more. in midst of all these thoughts she comes to me. she sits next to me and talks. i listen for a while and then the moon emerging from behind the dark clouds catches my attention. i am amazed at how it increases its intensity with every passing moment. i tell her 'look at the moon'. she sees it but to her it is just a blot in the sky. something that diminishes the beauty of the near perfect night sky. she sees the moon and she looks back at me. she looks at me with those "nothing great here" eyes. she does not say anything for a while and then starts talking again. this time i hear. i cannot listen. the dark sky, the black clouds are too much of a fascination for me to be able to listen. i try hard to do things to make her happy. i try to do things but when at the end of the day i lie to her i feel sad, i dont know why i said those things. i cannot understand what i was thinking when i said all that. i cannot bear to lok at her sad face, she has too much aura around her for me to absorb. her love is like rain, the more i try to spread my palms and catch it, the more it rains, and the more it rains, more of it slips away from my hands. i do not know what to do, i cannot seem to do things right. i try to understand her and understand whay i do the things i do. i fail each time in understandiong her and i have tried many a times to do the same each time taking a bigger fall than the previous one. i do not know whether i should try any further or not. i do not know whether i will have the courage to get up the next time i fall. it is all in pieces. there are good bits and there are bad bits. the bad bits are overweighing the good ones. the fault is my own. but these faults are what make me me.